Go through these hilarious jokes and celebrate Eid-ul-Fitr:
An Imam shocked his community when he announced that he was resigning from that particular Masjid and moving to a drier climate. After the session, a very distraught lady came to the Imam with tears in her eyes, "Oh, Imam, we are going to miss you so much. We don't want you to leave!" The kind hearted Imam said "Now, now, sister, don't carry on. The Imam who takes my place might be even better than me".
"Yeah", she said, with a tone of disappointment in her voice, "That's what they said the last time too . . . "
Here is the story of an Imam who got up after Friday prayers and announced to the people:
"I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
Once, the people of the city invited Mulla Nasruddin to deliver a speech. When he got on the minbar (pulpit), he found the audience was not very enthusiastic, so he asked "Do you know what I am going to say?" The audience replied "NO", so he announced "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about" and he left. The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time when he asked the same question, the people replied "YES" So Mullah Nasruddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time" and he left. Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mullah to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question - "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "YES" while the other half replied "NO". So Mullah Nasruddin said "The half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the other half" and he left!
An elderly lady was well-known for her Iman and for her confidence in talking about it. She would stand in front of her house and say Alhamdulilah "Allah be praised" to all those who passed by. Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!" Hard times came upon the elderly lady, and she prayed for Allah to send her some assistance. She would pray out loud in her night prayer" Oh Allah! I need food!! I am having a hard time, please Lord, PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!" The atheist happened to hear her as she was praying, and decided to play a prank on her. The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "Alhamdulilah, Allah be praised!." The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn't." The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, "ALHAMDULILAH WA SHUKRILLAH”. He not only sent me groceries, but he made the devil pay for them!"
"When I was in the desert," said Nasruddin one day, "I caused an entire tribe of horrible and bloodthirsty bedouins to run."
"However did you do it?" asked a person.
"Easy. I just ran, and they ran after me.
An Imam was selling his horse in the market. An interested buyer came to him and requested if he could get a test drive. The Imam told the man that this horse is unique. In order to make it walk, you have to say Subhanallah. To make it run, you have to say Alhamdulillah and to make it stop, you have to say Allahu Akbar. The man sat on the horse and said Subhanallah. The horse started to walk. Then he said Alhamdulillah and it started to run. He kept saying Alhamdulillah and the horse started running faster and faster. All of a sudden the man noticed that the horse is running towards the edge of the hill that he was riding on. Being overly fearful, he forgot how to stop the horse. He kept saying all these words out of confusion. When the horse was just near the edge, he remembered Allahu Akbar and said it out loud. The horse stopped just one step away from the edge. The man took a deep breath, relieved, looked up towards the sky and said, Alhamdulillah!
Nasruddin was determined to be decisive and efficient. One day he told his wife he would plow his largest field on the far side of the river and be back for a big dinner. She urged him to say, "If Allah is willing."
He told her whether Allah was willing or not, that was his plan. The frightened wife looked up to Allah and asked forgiveness.
Nasruddin loaded his wooden plow, hitched up the oxen to the wagon, climbed on his donkey, and set off.
But within the short span of a day the river flooded from a cloudburst and washed his donkey downstream, and one of the oxen broke a leg in the mud, leaving Nasruddin to hitch himself in its place to plow the field.
Having finished only half the field, at the sunset he set out for home exhausted and soaking wet. The river was still high so he had to wait until long past dark to cross over.
After midnight a very wet but much wiser Nasruddin knocked at his door. Who is there Asked his wife.
I think it is me, Nasruddin, he replied, if Allah is willing!
"Once I was dying," said Nasruddin one day, "It was then that a fish saved my life."
"How? Please tell me." asked a curious listener.
"I was dying out of hunger. There was a river nearby. I caught the fish and ate it. It saved my life."
One morning, one of Nasruddin's friends came to him and said: "Dear Nasruddin, will you please lend me your donkey? I have to travel to the next village to deliver some goods by sundown."
"Oh", replied Nasruddin with a pretension of anxiety, "but mine has already been taken by somebody else."
Just then the bray of a donkey was heard.
The man said to Bohlool, "You said your donkey has been taken but there it is. Is it not?"
Nasruddin replied, "You are a strange and stupid friend. Even after forty years of friendship, you listen to a donkey but not to me. You shall not have my donkey".
Many years ago there lived in a remote village a young man who refused to believe that Allah has total control of everything.
One day he told his mother that Allah cannot make him eat food if he didn't want to eat for a day. To prove this, he decided to stay hungry for a day and see if Allah can make him eat. His mother tried her best to make her foolish son see reason but it was of no use. The son was bent on proving his point. Annoyed of his mother's entreaties, he ran some distance away and decided to climb a tree to escape being disturbed. The poor mother left her son's food under the tree thinking that her son might finally give up his adamance and want to eat.
As night fell, a group of robbers were passing by that tree. The plate of delicious food caught their eye. They looked at each other in amazement and thought that someone must be playing a trick on them.
"Could it be that the law officers are trying to poison us with good food?" said one of the robbers.
"It may be possible." said the others. "Let's see" they said and looked around to see if there was anyone nearby. Suddenly one of them noticed the young man sitting atop the tree. The robbers got suspisious. They pulled him down and told him to eat the food to see if it is poisoned.
The young man refused to eat as the day had not passed and he was still under his oath. Not knowing about his motive, the robbers became suspicious and started beating the young man to eat. The young man finally relented and started eating. Seeing that the food was not poisoned, the robbers left him and went away.
The young man had to admit that Allah has total control of everything!
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