Halloween Jokes for you!

There was a haunted house on the outskirts of the town which was avoided by all the townfolk - the ghost which 'lived' there was feared by all.

However, an enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom. When he entered the house, armed with only his camera, the ghost descended upon him, clanking chains et al. He told the ghost "I mean no harm - I just want your photograph". The ghost was quite happy at this chance to make the headlines - he posed for a number of ghostly shots.

The happy journalist rushed back to his dark room, and began developing the photos. Unfortunately, they turned out to be black and underexposed.

So what's the moral of the story?

The spirit was willing but the flash was weak.


One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as 'Rocky' in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Soon after I gave him some goodies, he returned for more.

"Aren't you the same 'Rocky' who left my doorstep a few minutes ago?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied, "but now I'm the sequel. I'll be back three more times tonight too."


Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?

Because she has a pumpkin for a coach
and runs away from the ball.


Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite...


What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite...


Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...


How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...


What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck...


Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...


Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with...


What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries...


What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Casketball...


What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving...


What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein...


What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"


What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer...


Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves...


What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends...


What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts...


What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel...


What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
A scareplane...


What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
Bloodhounds...


What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime...


What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich...


What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A trombone...


What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets...


Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...


What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure...


Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation...


Q: What happened to the guy who didn't pay his exorcist?
A: He was repossessed

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