| Men are just simply happier people, and here is why... |
| • Your last name stays put. |
| • The garage is all yours. |
| • Wedding plans take care of themselves. |
| • Chocolate is just another snack. |
| • You can be President. You can never be pregnant. |
| • You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. |
| • Car Mechanics tell you the truth. |
| • The world is your urinal. |
| • You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. |
| • You dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. |
| • Same work, more pay. |
| • Wrinkles add character. |
| • Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. |
| • People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them. |
| • The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. |
| • New shoes dont cut, blister, or mangle your feet. |
| • One mood all the time. |
| • Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat. |
| • You know stuff about tanks. |
| • A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase. |
| • You can open all of your own jars. |
| • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. |
| • If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. |
| • Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. |
| • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. |
| • You never have strap problems in public. |
| • You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. |
| • Everything on your face stays its original color. |
| • The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. |
| • You only have to shave your face and neck. |
| • You can play with toys all your life. |
| • Your belly usually hides your big hips. |
| • One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. |
| • You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. |
| • You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. |
| • You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. |
| • You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. |
| No wonder men are happier! |
