Q: What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
A: "What's eating you?"
It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. 'Oh, I don't know ,' she said . 'Just give me something with diamonds. That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards.
Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."
Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.
There are numerous advantages in being fifty – just ask any eighty year old!!!
"A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age."
"When's your birthday?"
When I was a child my family were so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older.
Q: Did you hear about the dancer's birthday?
A: It was a tappy one!
"My birthday's coming"
Do you know what I need?"
"Yeah, but how do you wrap a life?"
Q: What did one candle say to the other?
A: "Don't birthdays burn you up?"
Q: "Were any famous men born on your birthday?"
A: "No, only little babies."
Q: How can you tell that you're getting old?
A: You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!
"I'm giving a 'surprised' birthday party for you."
"A 'surprised'. birthday party? What's that?"
"That's where I invite a bunch of your friends, and if any of them come, I'll be surprised!"
Q: Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
A: Because people kept toasting him!
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN ...