And all his crew,
Let me crack
A joke on you!
Here are some one liner happy Halloween Jokes for you. Hope you will like them, and share them with your friends
Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost?
Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.
Brett: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
Brent: I don’t know.
Brett: Wrap music!
Sarah: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
Brian: Tell me.
Sarah: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
Everett: What’s a ghoul’s favorite game?
Q: What directions did the ghost give the goblin?
A: "Make a fright turn at the corner."
Joshua: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Aidan: What is a ghost’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Aidan: Boo and Gold.
Aidan: What is a witch’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: I give up.
Aidan: Brew and Gold.
Aidan: What is a werewolf’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Aidan: Pack meetings, of course!
Doctor: Who’s my next patient?
Nurse: Mr. Ghost.
Doctor: Tell him I can’t see right now.
Once, there were 2 guys sitting in a living room. One man says to the other,
“I would rather live with a vampire than my wife!”
and the other man says “Why?” He says,
“Because she’s always trying to bite my head off!”
The angry female ghost seems to state, “I’ve had it! In the middle of the night he turns on the television,
moves things from one place to another, and makes weird noises.”
Funny, nay? By the way, how did I realise who’s a female ghost? Well,
simply look out for the most adorable eyelashes ever.
Bruce: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?
Kevin: I don’t know. What?
Bruce: The Fang-Dango.
Max: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
Bill: Tell me.
Max: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.¬
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost as they
drove down the street?
Buckle your sheet belt!
Race: Why don’t ghosts like rain on Halloween?
Race: It dampens their spirits!
Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap -tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. "Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?" "Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
Q: Why are vampires tough to get along with?
A: Because they can be pains in the neck!
Q: What do you call a single vampire?
A: A bat-chelor.
Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old to Be Trick or Treating:
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have a kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richard's mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or ..." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives/ex-husbands live.
Three vampires went into a bar and sat down. The barmaid came over to take their orders. "And what would you, er, gentlemen like tonight?"
The first vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood." The second vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood." The third vampire shook his head at his companions and said, "I'll have a glass of plasma."
The barmaid wrote down each order, went to the bar and called to the bartender, "Two bloods and a blood light".
David: Which ghost is the best dancer?
Joseph: I don’t know.
David: The Boogie Man!