No matter how careful you are, you will run into relationship problems, and that is all natural. As they say, it is only those who dare to try are the ones who can fail. Let there be problems, just have the heart and determination to solve the problems, and you will have a great life.
This is, or the lack of it, is the biggest bane to a successful relationship. With the advent of cell phones, and our addiction to it, people all the time try to do a double role of communicating with their partner and cell phone together. An absolute no. The cell phone is your biggest enemy of your relationship, and remember to keep it away when you are communicating in person with your partner.
Make a proper appointment. It may be after the kids sleep, after your dinner, or on return from office. But you should not be accessing your phone or any other gadgets, and have dedicated time to each other.
If you think that the discussion may get hot, or you may start raising your voice, keep the appointment in a public space like a mall, restaurant or a park.
Never interrupt your partner. Let him/her finish, take their confirmation on their finishing, ask them not to interrupt you while you speak, so that both get to put their views on.
Your body language is very important in the discussion, and you should maintain eye contact throughout. Don't fiddle with your watch or anything, or look elsewhere. Remember, you are not there to win personally, but to win the relationship. Work on the same.
If your relationship is without sex, then probably it is not a relationship at all. Sex binds people emotionally, physically and spiritually as well. So, never give up sex in your relationship, for leaving a healthy sex life is the greatest killer of a relationship. It is the greatest catalyst in bringing people close together and keeps the couple healthy.
Make it surprising, make it sudden, and also sometimes make it plan. Sex is something that is the best when it has variety, so count on your imaginations and possibilities. That hot lingerie by the fireplace – On that leather sofa in an unconventional position, blindfolded – leather dress – at the kitchen – endless possibilities. You only need to find out the ones which works best for you and the ones which don't. Sometimes make it unplanned like while-the-kids-are-sleeping-in-the-afternoon, while sometimes make it fully planned by letting the kids go to a weekend sleepover at a friend's place. Even the hallway or the guest room can be your playground!
And if, you cannot solve the sex related problems on your own, definitely get help from a sex psychologist or a professional. It is of tantamount importance to your relationship.
Money problems can start even before the wedding vows are exchanged. They can stem, for example, from the expenses of courtship or from the high cost of a wedding. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) recommends that couples who have money woes take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances.
It takes money for everything, even before your relationship has started. You will always need to be prudent about your expenses and more often than not; couples stretch their limits and go overboard, when in a relationship.
If you are in a problem, then take stock of your financial position. Stop the expenses that is putting strain on your finances. Don't just keep it in your head, face it, discuss it, and solve it. Even if it means letting go a part of your ego with it. And remember, this should not be discussed in a heated discussion. Finance and accounts are logical and are simple math, and should be discussed in the same way.
Both partners may be spenders or one may be more of a spender. Acknowledge your tendencies and work on them. Sometimes, one partner may not spend for six straight months, but suddenly spends a large amount (say, on sofa) , that sets all charts upside down.
Also, do not hide your liabilities, personal debts, credit card dues and so on. Shift to prepaid cards with credit card bin, which is a great way to build your credit records, and yet stay out of debt. Companies like www.Monvenience.com and www.stylopay.com specializes in these kind of cards. Try them out.
Believe it or not, this is one of the most common problems in a relationship. With both partners working, this further complicates the issue.
Get down and divide the home chores amongst yourselves. Try to keep a balance and keep likings and disliking evenly distributed as well. It's all about understanding and honest intentions.
Remember your relationship is the greatest priority, and everything else, like your job, associations and entertainment is to support your relationship. The priority of your relationship is as good as your life. The danger is, more often than not, we do not realize when you have made the relationship a lower priority subject.
There is an element of balance here as well. All relationship should have space. And both partners should be careful to see that the relationship has got enough breathing space and does not become suffocating.
Conflict is a part of life, and it is okay to have a conflict once on a while. However, the telltale sign is when partners engage into conflicts in trivial things, and unknowingly enjoy shouting over each other. The best way to resolve your conflict is to change your mind set.
Talk/argue in a civilized manner, and get yourself out of the cocoon that you are the victim. You are not, and probably you are victimizing others.
It is your choice on how you react, and what effect you let have of others on you. Use your judgement
Remove that irritation. Get that irritation out of your head. Only then you can think straight
Try not to hurt. Not physical, I am referring to words that can scratch one's soul. Do not say anything that you will regret later of saying. Take time in your response, choose your words, and then deliver. You may choose to not say something you want to, as well, so that you can think over it later and decide.
Stop defending. Do not always jump into defending yourself. Try accepting the blame once on yourself, even if it is not your fault. See the change in tempo.
It's okay to apologize. Get out of your ego, apologize if you are wrong. See the other person's heart melt. Make your relationship stronger.
Do not try to control anyone's behavior, control your only.
Trust is the key and pillar both to a relationship. By this trust you can achieve the impossible in a relationship. It is of paramount importance that the relationship trust goes from strength to strength with passing time.
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