Prepare for a delightful journey into the world of laughter as we bring you the best St. Patrick's Day jokes suitable for both adults and kids! Whether you're looking to tickle your own funny bone or share a chuckle with the little leprechauns in your life, our collection has something for everyone.
From clever quips that will have the adults in stitches to kid-friendly jokes that are as sweet as a pot of gold, we've gathered a treasure trove of humor to make your St. Patrick's Day celebration even more memorable. So, grab a shamrock, get ready to giggle, and let the Irish laughter begin!
These are the best short Irish jokes you will find. Irish jokes are famous all over the world, good and bad. Irish people are known for their innate sense of humor. As part of our dedicated Irish Jokes section, what we've provided below is a sort of shuttle-stop foundation for Irish jokes for adults and kids. If you want to blend in with the locals, check out these hilarious Irish jokes that will make the whole pub laugh. This is dedicated to bringing you the best Irish humour and Irish jokes out there. Here you will get funny Irish jokes and you can send to your family and friends.
A good laugh always helps, and more so when it is celebration time. On the eve of St. Patrick's Day, enjoy-n-forward these Irish jokes, for jokes are for sharing. Hopefully these Irish jokes give you a bit of a laugh and brighten up your day. Enjoy your St. Patrick's day with these Irish Jokes.
What kind of bow can't be tied? A rainbow.
What type of shoes do leprechauns wear? They prefer buckled shoes.
What is Irish and stays out all night? A patio furniture.
What is at the end of the rainbow? The letter "W".
What do you call a fake Irish stone? A sham-rock.
What did one shamrock say to the other? "What's the craic?" (which means "what's happening?" in Irish slang)
What kind of music do leprechauns listen to? Sham-rock and roll.
What is Irish and always wants to fight? Patty O'Furniture.
Why did the leprechaun refuse to give a refund? He's always a little green when it comes to money.
What do you call a leprechaun who plays basketball? A lepre-slam-dunk.
Why did the leprechaun turn down the bowl of soup? He already had a pot of gold!
Why don't you iron a four-leaf clover? You don't want to press your luck!
What do you call a fake stone in Ireland? A sham-rock!
Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland? He couldn't afford plane tickets!
Why do people wear green on St. Patrick's Day? So they don't get pinched!
What do you get when you cross a shamrock and a vampire? A leprechaun who loves to drink Bloody Marys!
How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman in a race? He took a shortcut through the four-leaf clover field!
What do you call a big Irish spider? A Paddy long legs!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo on St. Patrick's Day? A sham-roo!
What is the favorite vegetable of leprechauns? Four-leaf clovers!
Irish you a happy St. Patrick's Day!
Why do leprechauns laugh when they play soccer? The grass tickles their balls.
I can't wait to have a shamrockin' good time on St. Patrick's Day!
St. Patrick's Day is the one day a year when it's okay to be green with envy.
May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light, may good luck pursue you each morning and night.
I'm so Irish, I put the "pot" in "potato."
What do you call an Irishman who can't spell? Rick O'Shea.
I don't need luck, I'm Irish.
Why don't you ever iron a four-leaf clover? You don't want to press your luck!
Why did the leprechaun go to the jail? He was charged with theft and stealing someone's pot of gold.
'Lord above Paddy, this is a great city,' says Mick.
'Why's that Mick?' responds Paddy.
'Well, to be sure,' explains Mick, 'where else in the world would a complete stranger come up to you, make idle chat, invite you to dinner and then offer you to spend the night at their house?'
'Begorrah, ' splutters Paddy, 'did that happen to you?'
'No,' says Mick, 'but it happens to my beautiful sister all the time.'
'I'm sorry sir, I...........'
'Not you,' says O'Leary, 'I'm talking to that little fella on your knee.'
Kate says, 'My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years.'
Lorna responds, 'Well, my Francis is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time.'
'My word,' says Kate, 'You must be so proud.'
'I am,' announces Lorna, 'And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him a big party.'
'Thank the Lord I wasn't sleeping at the other end of the bed,' Kieran said to his friends in Donegal's pub. 'I would have blown my head off.'
MacArthur replies, 'Well Donncha, the man in charge said we are on a mission to the sun.'
'OK,' says Donncha, he thinks for a while and then asks, 'Won't it be a bit hot, it being the sun and all?'
'Don't be stupid, Donncha,' says MacArthur, 'the man said we'd be going at night.'
Paddy sat back in his seat, poured out a cup of tea and lit a cigarette. A policeman arrived a short time later and knocked on the cab door which Paddy then opened, 'what do you think you are doing? asked the policeman in a sharp tone, 'Sure I'm having me tea break, replied Paddy, 'And what do you work at? asked the policeman, 'Agh shure I deliver bridges,! smiled
2nd Irish Farmer: Did you shoot it in the hole?
First Irish Farmer: No, in the head.
The young lass on learning it wasn't real returned to her future husband. She protested vehemently about his cheapness.
'It was in honour of St. Patrick's Day, 'he smiled.
'I gave you a sham rock.'
St. Peter decides to go easy on him, 'What has 5 fingers and is made of black leather?' he asks. O'Malley scratches his head, thinks hard and finally gives up. 'It's a glove says St. Peter.'
Let's try again. 'What has 10 fingers and is made of black leather?' asks St. Peter. O'Malley is clearly stumped. After a few minutes of pacing in a circle and scratching his head, O'Malley gives up. 'Why it's 2 gloves - don't you see 10 fingers, black leather, says St. Peter amazed.' Being in a generous mood, St. Peter decides to give O'Malley yet another chance but thinking of an even easier question.
'Who is the patron Saint of Ireland?' asks St. Peter, thinking he can't miss this.
'It wouldn't be 3-gloves, would it?' says O'Malley.
'Were you injured?' inquired Seamus.
'No, but it could have spelled disaster,' concluded Murphy.