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Pilgrims Jokes on Thanksgiving

Pilgrims Jokes

A grandma was showing the children a painting of the Pilgrim Family on a Thanksgiving Day card that they had received and she commented, 'The Pilgrim children enjoyed going to church with their mothers and fathers and praying to God.'
One of the grandson looked at her doubtfully and asked, 'Then why is their father carrying that rifle?'
A young boy, after hearing the story of Thanksgiving and how the Indians and the Pilgrims sat down together, climbed up into his father's lap and said, 'Daddy, did you know that if we were Indians, you would be a brave and Mom would be a squawk?'
'That is the best description of your mother I have ever heard', replied his daddy as he ducked.
Thanksgiving Pilgrims Joke
Q: Why did the Pilgrims sail from England to America?
A: Because they missed their plane.
Q: When did the Pilgrims first say "God bless America?"
A: The first time they heard America sneeze!
Why did the Pilgrims start a bakery business on Thanksgiving?
Because they kneaded a fresh start on the New World, one pie at a time!
What did the Pilgrim say when he got lost on the way to Thanksgiving dinner?
"I think I'm Plymouth-d."
How did the Pilgrims know they were at the right place for the first Thanksgiving?
They saw a sign that said, "This way to Turkey and Gravy!"
Why did the Pilgrim bring an extra belt to Thanksgiving dinner?
Because he knew it was going to be a buckle-busting feast!
How did the Pilgrim fix the hole in his shoe before Thanksgiving?
He used Mayflower putty!
What do you call a Pilgrim who tells jokes on Thanksgiving?
A "Pil-grin!"
How did the Pilgrims prepare for the first Thanksgiving feast?
They worked out their "corn"binations in advance!
What did the Pilgrims use to cook their Thanksgiving dinner?
Plywood and "turpentine" oil!
How did the Pilgrim cheer up the turkey before Thanksgiving?
They told it, "Don't worry, we're just winging it!"
What's a Pilgrim's favorite Thanksgiving song?
"Plymouth Rock You Like a Hurricane!"
Q: When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?
A: On their feet!
Q: What did pilgrims use to bake cookies?
A: May-Flour!
Q: What does a Pilgrim call his best friend?
A: A palgrim.
Q: If pilgrims were alive today, what would they say?
A: Do not resuscitate.
Q: What do you call the age of a pilgrim?
A: Pilgrimage.
Q: What kind of cars would pilgrims drive today?
A: Plymouth.
Q:What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach?
A: Puritan.
Thanksgiving Pilgrims Joke - Two pilgrims with turkey
Q: What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he's in pain?
A: Pil-grimace.
Q: What's the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook?
A: Pilgram.
Q: What's a pilgrim's mother called?
A: Pilgranny.
Q: What do you call a pilgrims vocabulary?
A: Pilgrammar.
Q: What do you call the evil being that comes to get pilgrims?
A: Pilgrim Reaper.
Q: Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey at Thanksgiving?
A: Because they couldn't get the moose in the oven!
Q: Why do pilgrims pants keep falling down?
A: Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
Pilgrim John: I see thee cleaning hunting gear for the morrow. Dost thou plan on hunting bear?
Pilgrim Samuel: Certainly not, John. I am shocked that thou would suggest it. I shall wear clothing as usual!
Q: The pilgrims' cows came to America on what ship?
A: The Mooooo-flower.
Q: Why did the Pilgrim eat a candle?
A: He wanted a light snack!
Q: If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
A: Their AGE.
Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
A: Plymouth Rock.
Q: What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
A: He had an arrow escape.
Q: If April shower bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?
A: Pilgrims and furniture.
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