Jokes on Men
What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What Men Know About Women."
What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.
How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
What do men and beer bottles have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares!
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know... it has never happened.
What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
What's the difference between a man and E.T?
E.T. phoned home.
What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted!
What did God say after he created man?
I can do better.
What are two reasons men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind 2. No business.
What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal?
He bronzed it.
How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy and wearable."
Only a man could buy a $400 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.
Why did God create man?
He needed to practice.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost, at least she will ask for directions.