Something to smile over, and enjoy this
Christmas for free. Enjoy and forward these Christmas jokes to your friends,
let us know if any joke
offends you.
A mafioso's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, ‘Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new…' He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away. He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, ‘Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new…' He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away. He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother's room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, ‘Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again…'
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Finland. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they must present something relating to or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of stockings. Confused at this last gesture, St Peter asks, ‘How do these represent Christmas?' Answer: ‘They're Carol's.'
What do you call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
What’s a good Christmas tip?
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
Answer: It's Christmas, Eve!
What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve?
Answer: Halo there!
If Santa Claus is crossed with a detective then you would get what?
Answer: Santa Clues!
A snowman loses weight in what way?
Answer: He waits for the weather to get warmer!
What is the snowman's breakfast?
Answer: Frosted flakes!
What is said by one snowman to the other snowman?
Answer: Can you smell carrot?
Where the snowman does dances on?
Answer: A snow ball!
How do you know that Santa is a man?
Answer: No woman wears the same attire every year.
What monkeys sing on Christmas Eve in concert?
Answer: Jungle Bells, Jungle bells!
What a big candle says to a small candle on a Christmas Eve?
Answer: I am going out for dinner tonight.
What snowmen wear on the Christmas Eve?
Answer: Ice caps.
If someone claps on the Christmas Eve then he should be called as —
Answer: Santapplause!
When Santa doesn't move then what he should be called as?
Answer: Santa Pause.
Do you know any bird that can write?
Answer: Pen-guine.