A flower is born ushering in loads of joy - is how the birth of a daughter affects a father. Right from childhood, a daughter looks up to her father as the hero. She idol worships him, looking in him the confident, sturdy and perfect gentleman. The father also enjoys the attention and faith a daughter renders.
Between father and son, often egotism acts as a deterrent to the perfect bonding. But with a daughter, the macho-ism of the father is nurtured and nothing works better for a man to feel like a man.
Under his perfect guidance, a father transforms a bud into a fully blossomed flower. His daughter turns into a woman with enough self-radiance to face the world and she does that with aplomb. For this, communication between father and daughter is quintessential.
(I) LISTENING - Fathers should listen to their daughters. They should pay attention even in the most ordinary moments. This is because a daughter’s voice is the conduit to her heart and soul. When she starts speaking, metaphorically and literally, she feels safer and more secure.
Daughters should also not hesitate when speaking their heart out to their fathers, especially if it pertains to the opposite sex. Your father will be the best guide for seeing you through such situations. You should also listen to your father’s problems if you ever see him struggling with something. Your tender and understanding nature is sure to cheer him up.
(II) PROBLEMS AND SOLUTIONS - When a daughter shares any kind of problem with their fathers, the latter should always ask whether he should offer advice or just listen. That way, the daughters tend to be more open minded and accept advice from their fathers. As with all kinds of parenting, there are no guarantees of outcomes. But one should be satisfied knowing he has made a difference in his daughter’s life. Daughters should confidently share their problems knowing that Dad will not only listen intently, but will also help in summing up a solution. A father’s problems are much more serious but women, being a lot more mature at a younger age, are able to tackle most of the problems. They are also good listeners.
(III) HONESTY - In order for a daughter to be honest with her father, the latter must not reprimand his daughter for speaking a truth which he did not want to hear. It is not always easy speaking the truth, especially if she knows it is something he won’t like. He should praise her for the honesty before dwelling into the subject. Daughters should remember that there can be no better person to share the truth with than a father. Mothers usually let emotions prevail over advice but fathers are firm.
(IV) OPEN COMMUNICATION - Fathers must resist the urge to criticize if they expect daughters to be open about their problems. The comments may not seem particularly harsh to the father but it may imply something entirely different to the daughter, depending on the situation. Listening without interruption and understanding her point of view is ideal.
Daughters should keep in mind that whatever her father says is for her own benefit and she must not misinterpret. Even if harsh words are exchanged, she will find that, on pondering over her father’s words, he actually meant to help her all along.
(V) INVOLVEMENT - Fathers should try to understand why his daughter is so concerned about her body image. The underlying message women receive from society is they have to look a certain way to attract a boy’s attention. A dad counters such destructive messages when he plays a sport with his daughter, attends her recital, drives her to practice and cheers on her will and persistence. It doesn't need to be an organized sport. It could be really simple from playing catch to jumping rope or just walking the dog together.
Daughters should also get involved in their fathers lives and try to find out if anything is bothering him. Try and make him say it so that he can feel lighter. If not, comfort him to the best of your efforts.
Help make this world a better place for women. Protest against rape, media exploitation of females, pornography and any kind of violence against women. Nullify every "boys are more important than girls" attitude.
By Kinjal Sen