Father's Day Jokes and Humor 2023

Humor on Father and Father's Day Jokes

These Father's Day jokes and humor are sure to bring a smile to your dad's face and add some fun to the occasion. Laughter is a great way to bond and create lasting memories, so don't be afraid to share some jokes and have a good time with your dad this Father's Day.

1. Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
   In case they get a hole in one!
2. What do you call a dad who is also a doctor?
   A "padre-tician"!
3. What do you call a dad who can't tell jokes?
   A faux pa!
4. What's a dad's favorite kind of music?
   "Dad" rock!
5. What do you call a dad who just won't stop telling bad jokes?
   A "daddict"!
6. Why did the dad cross the road?
   To get to the dad joke on the other side!
7. Why don't dads ever tell jokes in elevators?
   Because it's wrong on so many levels!
8. Why do dads always have a stash of corny jokes? For emergency laughter situations!
9. What do you get when you cross a dad and a computer? A dad-a-base!
10. Why did the dad wear running shoes to the cookout? Because he meant business!

11. The Dad Bod

    When I was growing up, my dad always told me to "eat your vegetables" and "get some exercise." But now that I'm an adult, my dad has a new philosophy: the dad bod.
    He says that as you get older, it's important to have a bit of extra padding around the middle. That way, you have a built-in cushion for sitting on hard surfaces, like bleachers or the floor.
    He also says that having a dad bod is a sign of maturity and responsibility. It shows that you've moved beyond the superficial concerns of youth and are focused on more important things, like family, work, and good food.
    I have to admit, there's a certain appeal to the dad bod. It's comfortable, it's practical, and it's a great excuse to indulge in some extra dessert. But I'm not sure I'm ready to fully embrace it yet. Maybe when I'm a dad myself, I'll understand.

12. The Dad Life

    Being a dad is a tough job, but my dad makes it look easy. He's always there for me, whether I need help with homework or a shoulder to cry on.
    But being a dad isn't all serious business. My dad also knows how to have fun. He's a master of dad jokes, he loves to grill, and he's always up for a game of catch in the backyard.
    One of my favorite memories of my dad is from a few years ago, when we went on a road trip together. We packed up the car, hit the open road, and had a blast. We sang along to the radio, stopped at roadside attractions, and made memories that will last a lifetime.
    That's the dad life in a nutshell: hard work, lots of love, and a healthy dose of fun. I'm grateful for all that my dad has done for me, and I hope that one day I can be as good a dad to my own kids as he has been to me.

13. The "Dad Joke" Competition

    Every year on Father's Day, my family has a "dad joke" competition. It's a chance for my dad, my grandpa, and my uncles to show off their best one-liners and puns.
    Last year, my dad won the competition with this gem: "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything."
    My grandpa came in second with this one: "Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide."
    And my uncle brought up the rear with this groaner: "Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!"
    It's always a fun and silly competition, but it's also a chance for us to show our dads how much we appreciate their sense of humor and their ability to make us laugh.
    

14. The Dad Dance

    My dad is a great dancer… or so he thinks. Whenever there's music playing, he's the first one on the dance floor, busting out his signature moves.
    His favorite dance move is what he calls "the dad shuffle." It's a sort of slow, side-to-side sway that he does with his hands in his pockets.
    Whenever we tease him about it, he just laughs and says, "Hey, I may not be a professional dancer, but I'm a professional dad!"
    I love my dad's goofy dance moves, because they show that he's not afraid to let loose and have fun. He's always been a great role model for me, and I hope that one day I can be as carefree and fun-loving as he is.

15. The Dad Wisdom

    My dad is full of wisdom, some of it useful, and some of it… not so much. Here are a few of his best (and worst) pieces of advice:

    "Always wear sunscreen. Your skin is your biggest organ, and you don't want to mess with that."
    "Never trust a man who wears sandals with socks. It's a sure sign of bad judgment."
    "If you're feeling down, just watch a puppy video. Trust me, it works every time."
    "Always carry a pocket knife. You never know when you might need to open a bottle or whittle a stick."
    "Never underestimate the power of a good nap. It's like hitting the reset button on your day."
    My dad's wisdom may not always be conventional, but it's always delivered with love and a sense of humor. That's what makes him such a great dad, and such a great source of laughter and joy in our lives.

16. 1st Friend: What does your father do for a living?
    2nd Friend: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
    1st Friend: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
    2nd Friend: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.
    
    
17. Father is the God who stays back at home, not at heaven.
    
    
    
18. When Peter was 15, he finally got hold of his driver's license. In order to celebrate the special day, the whole family went out to the driveway and climbed into the car to enjoy his first official drive. However, dad went to the back seat, where he sat right behind his boy. When Bob saw his dad he said "Dad, you must be fed up of the front seat after teaching me how to drive all these days Right?" "Nope!", came the quick reply from the dad. "I'm going to sit back here and kick the back of your seat while you drive, just like you've been doing to me for the last sixteen years!"
    
    
19. Bob: How do you like the drum set you got for your birthday?
    David: I love it!
    Bob: Why?
    David: Whenever I don’t play it, my dad gives me 10 bucks!
    
    
20. Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders.
    Son: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!
    
    
21. What was the difference between the responsibility of a modern day father and a father of 19th century? In 1900, if a father could provide a roof over the head of his family members, then he was successful. But, a modern father is not successful even if he provides a roof, deck, pool, 4- car garages and vacation.
    
    
22. Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
    Science student: When my father sees my report card!
    
    
    
23. What is the father’s day for a little child? It’s just like another Mother’s day to him, the only difference, however, is that you don’t need to spend so much.
    
    
24. Five sons asked their father that, “who is most obedient?”
    Father replied that, “The obedient one doesn’t ever talk back to mother”. Quickly, one of his five sons replied that “Okay, dad you are the most obedient then”.
    
    
25. Once a son asked for another glass full of water to his father, the father said that he already has given 10 glasses of water. The son replied that “Yes, but the bedroom is still on fire!”
    
    
26. A little boy said to pastor that he would give him some money when the little boy is grown up. Pastor thanked him and asked the little boy the reason. The little boy mentioned that his father says that the pastor is one of the poorest preachers they ever had.
    
    
27. Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today?
    
    To whom am I speaking?
    
    Voice: This is my father.
    
    

28. A small boy was at the zoo with his father.  They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.

    “Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…”

    “Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.

    “…Which bus would I take home?”

    
    
29. Father and his son were quietly sitting on a beach and were counting the waves. Suddenly, the child pointed towards a dead bird and asked what happened to it? His father replied that, it just passed away and went to heaven. The little boy thought for a moment and asked surprisingly, why the God did throw it back then?
    
    
30. Name two people who don’t ever hesitate to embarrass you in front of your friends? Mom and Dad!!
    
    
31. Do fathers always snore?
    No - only when they are asleep!
    
    
    
32. "Daddy, Daddy, can I have another glass of water please?"
    "But I've given you 10 glasses of water already!"
    "Yes, but the bedroom is still on fire!"
    
    
33. Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one!
    
    
34. Letters
    
    Dear Dad,
    
    $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
    
    Love,
    Your $on
    
    
    The Reply: (to the above)
    
    Dear Son,
    
    I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
    
    Dad
    
    
35. One evening a little girl and her parents were sitting around the table eating supper. The little girl said, "Daddy, you're the boss, aren't you?" Her Daddy smiled, pleased, and said yes. The little girl continued "That's because Mummy put you in charge, right?"
    
    
36. Today nearly 100 years have elapsed since the first father's Day was celebrated. Fathers of 1900 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages: In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English. Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.
    
    
37. Johnny’s father: Let me see your report card.
    
    Johnny: I don’t have it.
    
    Johnny’s father: Why not?
    
    Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.
    
    
38. "Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity. Think about your father: He doesn't know where anything is. You ask him to do something, he messes it up and your mother sends you: "Go down and see what your father's doing before he blows up the house." He's a genius at work because he doesn't want to do it, and he knows someone will be coming soon to stop him." -- Bill Cosby
    
    
39. It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare
    
    
40. A company held a contest for kids with the theme: "The nicest thing My Father Ever Did For Me." One kid answered "He married my mother."
    
    
41. Did You Know?
    There are more collect calls on Father's Day than any other day of the year.
    An estimated $1 billion is spent each year in the United States for Father's Day gifts, but Dad is still paying the bill when it comes to telephone calls from the kids.
    
    
42. New and Improved
    The little girl was sitting in her father's lap as he read her a goodnight story. From time to time, she would take her eye's off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. By and by she was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
    Finally she spoke, "daddy, did God make you?"
    "Yes, sweetheart" he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
    "Oh she said," then "daddy, did God make me too?"
    "Yes, indeed honey" he assured her. "God made you just a little while ago."
    "Oh" she said. Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it now isn't he?"
    
    
43. My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
    
    
44. My Dad thinks he wears the trousers in our house, but it's always Mum who tells him which pair to put on!
    
    
45. Dadisms
    "You're going to sit there until you eat your dinner. I don't care if you sit there all night."
    "Delayed obedience is disobedience. "
    "When I say no, I mean no. Why? Because, that's why."
    "If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about."
    "Two wrongs do not make a right."
    "As long as you tried your hardest, that's all that matters."
    "I'm spanking you because I love you. This hurts me a lot more than it hurts you."
    "If I didn't hear it, you didn't say it! "
    "Shape up or ship out."
    "That's so funny? Wipe that smile off your face."
    "We'll do it the right way. My way."
    "Don't ask me, ask your mother."
    "This is your last warning. "
    "Four things come not back: time past, the spoken word, the sped arrow and a missed opportunity. "
    "You'll realize the value of money once you start earning. "
    "Son, don't ever get married. And tell that to your kids."
    "Enough is enough! "
    "Do what I say, not what I do."
    "When I was your age.... "